[Dorm]ification

Wide Eyed Revisited

2004-07-14T05:18:49Z

Damn it! I've royally screwed over my sleeping pattern.

Leashed

2004-07-13T00:47:42Z

So I'm watching this woman walk her child in the grocery store.

No, really. This was a full body harness and leash combo, drag the kid behind you and the cart, type deal. I almost felt bad for the boy until I saw him picking up random items of food and placing them discretely in odd places across the store.

Mad props to the young one for fighting back at an early age.

Words of Wisdom

2004-07-12T03:24:08Z

Candyfreak41: heh, have you been attacked by mosquitos?
amutedmind: er, no?
amutedmind: haha
amutedmind: sounds like a personal prob
Candyfreak41: lol...well just wondering, they are killer down here
Candyfreak41: and they are killing me pretty much
Candyfreak41: and i like goin outside, but its just rawr...they want my blood
amutedmind: true... i can understand
Candyfreak41: like i try that off! stuff but it's not really working....i need an expert's opinion or something
amutedmind: u should carry around one of those citrinella candles or whatever they are called
amutedmind: melt the wax..then pour it over your body
amutedmind: it might burn at first
amutedmind: but it will keep them off
amutedmind: and keep u sexified

An Explanation

2004-07-12T03:17:33Z

So my dad explained to me how automatic toll booths worked, and let me tell you, it is quite a tricky business...

When asking how one machine can so quickly tell what type of coin you put in it and what quantity, my dad responded easily:

"Midgets."

Enough said. Mystery solved.

Update

2004-07-12T03:12:52Z

So it's official...

I'm going to be heading off to good ol' College of Charleston to spend the rest of my college days. Dad and I drove down and began the closing process on a condo near the campus and everything is falling into place. Only need to lock in a few roommates to make ends meet, which shouldn't be too hard with a few already lined up We'll see how that goes in the days to come...

In other news... I'm not even living there yet, and I've already picked me up some digits. The receptionist who was working at the realty office that we hung out at a few times across the coarse of two days was pretty cool. She was a med student, 23, dark hair, dark eyes...overall, pretty good to look at and even cooler to talk to. As my dad and a realtor are crunching numbers and casually discussing the military, Katie (as she wrote on the post-it note) leaned over and slipped me both the home and the cell...

Too cool.

Beached

2004-06-21T22:09:12Z

I guess I came to Charleston with high expectations...

So I'm staying with friends of mine right on Folly Beach, a definate up from my previous isolation in Florida, and yet things still aren't folding out as nice as I'd hoped them too.

There's this girl...

And from what I was aware, she wasn't "the" girl or anything like that... just someone that I had been with, not really calling it dating, but always had a good connection with... I don't really know what I'm saying. Regardless, there isn't anything between us now apart from one of those ordinary semi-flirting strange relationships where neither can really tell what the other is thinking or feeling.

What got me recently though was that I keep catching wind of her liking this one guy I went to highschool with. He's a good guy, and there shouldn't be anything wrong with it... It's just this mild jealousy that I think shouldn't be there that gets to me. I don't know exactly where the jealousy lies, whether it be her disinterest in me or maybe the fact of just coming out of a relationship and being jealous of the companionship... either way, this is the gayest spill I have ever made in the livejournal so remember this one well as it will most likely never occur again.

On top of that, I have the greatest urge to go home to Greenville. I thought that coming to Charleston for a week would satisfy it, but it is proving insatiable. What bothers me though is that I fear when I actually get home, it still won't be enough...

Only time will tell...

Marooned

2004-06-21T01:50:13Z

I'm all moved out of Florida and already in Charleston for the week... update later on...

Claustrophobia

2004-06-18T20:39:27Z

Thank God for modern amenities.

So I'm at the pier today with some people I met here in Jacksonville and along our adventure we stumbled upon this strange metallic cylinder. It was as big as five phone booths easily, had a place to insert dollar bills, and a huge neon sign that read: Toilet of the Future.

None of us could resist the temptation! We all wanted a turn. I managed to rip out a dollar bill first, thus claiming my spot at the front of the line. I inserted the bill. The cylinder hums to life and a huge sliding door opens.

Enter Now

It speaks! I do as commanded, and enter the capsule. Within moments, the door slides to a close and a screen on the wall flickers to life.

Welcome to the Toilet of the Future! a friendly woman exclaims.

The female continues to speak, but I ignored her, facinated by all that was at my disposal: Cable television, internet access, stock tickers, magazines, books, automatic flushers, sinks, and high power hand dryers (not like typical ones you see in McDonalds, but these were diesel). I did my business quickly, washed up, admired the facility once more, and pressed the huge red exit button.

Nothing happened.

I pressed it again. Still nothing. I looked around for some sort of emergency door, yet found none. After some time, I pressed the help button by the toilet. Another automated message fired up, explaining everything in boring detail about this amazing electronic bathroom, but with no mention of what to do if the damn door doesn't open.

After what felt like an eternity, the speaker anounces that I have five minutes before the doors open automatically. Great, I thought. With one minute left, a countdown appeared on the screen, blinking in red. 5...4...3...2...1... The door opens. Natural light returns upon my face. I am free...

The door slid to a close. The self cleaning system activated. We walked away.

Insulation

2004-06-18T20:24:26Z

Ok, so my ear is trying to eat the earing.

Seriously. I got the cartilage peirced not too long ago, and everything healed fine. But now for some reason, it won't stop healing and the flesh of my ear is trying to wrap around the earing making it look like the rubber tubing over wires.

Not pretty. I shall cut it.

Distracted

2004-06-15T02:51:37Z

The Das Experiment is an awesome movie...

You have to be willing to read though, considering the entire flick is in German with English subtitles. But believe me, it is well worth it.

My synopsis: An experiment is conducted, simulating a prison. Volunteers are divided into two groups, prisoners and guards. Guards are supposed to keep order. The purpose is to better understand the division of roles and the ability of the mind to adapt and be subdued due to external stimuli.

Wait, wait. It's not a documentary. Don't get me wrong. That scientific mumbojumbo is just the subplot. It is actually a fictional story that displayed what might happen if such were to occur. And honestly, it was a little scary to think about.

All in all, I give it two thumbs up. If that counts for anything...

Closure

2004-06-11T01:26:01Z

You know those relationships that seem to have the most impact on your life (despite your trying to deny it) that seem to end in time but not in thought... Almost like a splinter that you just can't get out... Or maybe lead from a pencil that you stabbed in your hand that left a black scar (seriously, it happens, ok!)?

Well, today, my first actual relationship came to a close...finally. After tossing my objectivity around trying to find meaning from a lost two years, one phone call made the difference. In hearing her voice, absorbing her words, and silently thinking under the conversation, I came to the conclusion that once was in the present, is now nothing more than a memory and no longer exists as I remember it. Such memories are meaninful if you want or need them to be. However, when the call ended and there was nothing more than the hum of electricity running through the phone, one more burden was lifted, and a flurry of troubled memories finally came to rest.

The splinter was removed.

EDIT: Some scars I'd like to keep.

Purchase Power

2004-06-10T23:56:44Z

Alright. So I got a little carried away.

The 'rents gave me a shit load of cash and told me to go buy some stuff to keep me entertained. Not knowing what to do with myself, I went directly to a music store and bought out the place... including their life size cardboard display of Sarah Michelle Gellar aka Buffy the vampire slayer.

I don't think I've ever owned this much legal music before in my life!

Unoriented

2004-06-06T18:22:16Z

One of the many useless conversations among friends...

amutedmind: I am gonna buy a house in Slovakia
Candyfreak41: but what is there exactly?
amutedmind: cherry trees
amutedmind: farmers
amutedmind: i will live off the land
Candyfreak41: ahhh, cherry trees and farming
amutedmind: its mostly b/c i need an escape from everything else
amutedmind: though, i know once i'm there, i won't be satisfied
amutedmind: so it would all be in vain
amutedmind: i think i just talked myself out of it
amutedmind: oh well
amutedmind: i have no goals
Candyfreak41: lol, welll you could always make goals after you get there i guess
amutedmind: thats true
Candyfreak41: then again, if you are afraid you aren't goin to make them happen then i guess, don't make goals in the first place if you know you are goin to fail
amutedmind: its not that i will fail
amutedmind: its that it doesn't matter if i succeed
amutedmind: b/c then what next?
amutedmind: nothing...
amutedmind: another goal?
amutedmind: its not worth it to me
Candyfreak41: i gotcha, true true
Candyfreak41: thats the thing with life...will you ever be satisfied? probably not
amutedmind: i will
amutedmind: at death
amutedmind: unless that turns out to be the same afterwards
amutedmind: then its worthless
amutedmind: we'll see...
amutedmind: one day
amutedmind: just not any time soon
amutedmind:i like to stew in denial and hope that one day i might be satisfied
Candyfreak41: same here....thats why i live life day to day, hoping for something better...a day when i'll be happy about everything
amutedmind: its not that i'm depressed either... content right now i guess
amutedmind: but not happy
amutedmind: maybe a little angry
Candyfreak41: depressed no, but not at a point you wanna be..am i right? like you yearn for something more im sure
amutedmind: maybe yearn for something less
amutedmind: i don't know
amutedmind: either i know too much or i know too little
Candyfreak41: i think change for sure, well im def. yearning for something more
Candyfreak41: wellll, i def. wish i could do the things i dream of...or the things i've always wanted to do while i was in high school but was banished not to do....ive always wanted to do these so-called outrageous things
amutedmind: such as...
Candyfreak41: like random stuff you know...that may not make any sense, but it just feels right
amutedmind:like slovakia

Enough

2004-06-05T22:14:35Z

I'm ready for my cousin to leave.

No, it's not because he is annoying or anything like that. It's more on the line of restricting. I guess I'm just feeling the stress of entertaining. It makes it hard when I can easily amuse myself for hours on end with something as petty as a string. But no... some people have to have high standards. Or maybe just different standards. I don't know really. Either way, I've had enough.

I am going to go on a trip somewhere soon... as soon as my incarceration in Florida finally reaches its end. Actually, it is more like a jail break. The day my cousin leaves, I'm supposed to go to Charleston to hang out with some friends, but I think I am only going to go there for a day before I head back out on the road and go somewhere else. I haven't decided where yet. Just anywhere for a while. No use in making exact plans, as that defeats the whole purpose. It would probably make it easier if I atleast knew the purpose though.

We'll see...

Grande That

2004-06-05T15:43:22Z

So I'm back in Florida.

My cousin is with me so it's not all that bad. He helped me pick up a replacement Fajita. In case you don't know who Fajita is, she was my only lover who would always be there for me when I returned from class...when I would wake up in the morning... when I would go to bed at night. Sure, she was made of rubber, two feet tall, and full of hot air, but she was everything I ever wanted. Life was wonderful with Fajita until one day...

Fajita popped.

After several seconds of mourning, I moved on, finishing out the remainder of the semester Fajita-less. However, this week, happiness was retored thanks to Fantasy Lane Adult Toys Store where I purchased my very own Fajita Grande.

My life size friend is the only companion I will ever need.

Unmet Expectations

2004-05-31T14:55:07Z

Mainstream Canada is overrated.

In just under an hour, my cousin, two strangers, and myself crossed the border into what I had hoped to be a completely new world. After the ever-so friendly encounter with the customs officer (heavy sarcasm), we drove into the city of Niagra Falls.

Reno.

A cheap Las Vegas ripoff exactly like Reno, Nevada is what it was; that or a high class Myrtle Beach. Ripley's Believe It or Not museums, haunted houses, arcades, restaurants, and a hand full of casinos littered the streets, along side countless foreigners most likely from somewhere in East Asia.

The only three differences that I could see were that the currency was different, jay walking was legal, and you could drink at 19. Other than those, we were in a parallel American tourist trap universe.

Next time I go (which I will), it will either be alone or with one other companion, and will be an adventure into the great expanse rather than into the captivity of high rise cities.

Anonymous

2004-05-30T18:41:04Z

Today I bought a pin that read:

Help! I'm anonymous.

Too cool...

Youthful Wisdoms

2004-05-30T04:58:51Z

I was kind of surprised when I heard one of my younger cousins say something recently.

At eight years old, the boy can tell some tales. It must be ingrained in us, the ability to lie. When asked why he was banging so hard against the floor, he simply looked up and responded that he had to practice for his instructor.

Immediately, his mother contested, ultimately bringing forth an enormous wave of deceptions to the pitiful climax that the child merely WANTED to learn the drums. Upon realizing his defeat, Joe (my cousin) turns to me and says, "I lead a confused life."

It threw me off guard for a moment. I can only recall thinking... how true.

Vacate

2004-05-27T18:37:31Z

Well, I'm off to New York and the ever wonderful country of Canadia for a four day excursion.

This should prove very interesting and I will keep all my avid readers informed as information arises and time to post is available.

Pray for me as I enter the forbidden providences. Until then...

Reason to Read

2004-05-27T03:42:14Z

I've just figured out why reading is so enjoyable...

It denies me of free thinking. I'm forced to think only what is presented to me on the page.

Then again, it all seems like another form of control. So, does that make reading enjoyable at all, or just easier to deal with considering it preoccupies me?

To The Letter: Reviewed

2004-05-27T03:25:17Z

To give you a little background to the story, Chris McCandless completed his undergratuate degree, gave his remaining college funds to charity, drove across America only to abandon his car and bum rides, walk, swim, paddle, and venture out into the world on his own with little to show for it except an experience that most have never even imagined.

...Months later, the body of Chris McCandless was found in a long abandoned bus in the heart of Alaska.

Tragic, yes. However, what McCandless achieved was not leaving a wake of sorrow behind him for those he abandoned. Chris shared with those he crossed his vision of freedom. No longer bound by society nor even life itself, I can only envy his adventure.

To The Letter

2004-05-27T03:18:13Z

I was reading Into The Wild by Jon Krakaus earlier today and stumbled upon a passage that was an actual letter from the story's central figure. Excerpted, it read as follows:

I'd like to repeat the advice I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. If you want to get more out of life, Ron, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.

We just have to have the courage to turn against our habitual lifestyle and engage in unconventional living.

My point is that you do not need me or anyone else around to bring this new kind of light in your life. It is simply waiting out there for you to grasp it, and all you have to do is reach for it. The only person you are fighting is yourself and your stubbornness to engage in new circumstances.

Presumptuous Fools

2004-05-25T03:59:23Z

So get this...

Not long after I get my Xterra back from the dealer, they call my cell phone. The woman on the line, softspoken of course, immediately starts making reference to the service provided; Follow-up phone call as I had presumed. Though, about five minutes into what I had thought to be some sort of survey, the conversation turns.

"So, you're gonna think I'm crazy when I ask this, but..."

Yes. In case anyone was wondering, my first thought was definately, this woman is crazy, before she even spoke.

"...would you be interested in selling your car? I know you just brought it in for service, but there is a couple here that saw it and fell in love. We at Nissan would like to buy it off of you."

It was at that point that I became speechless and probably studdered a bit at my loss of words. Astonishingly enough, the woman was serious. Someone was in the market for an Xterra identical to my baby and the Nissan cronies called without me even showing a minute amount of interest in selling.

I have to atleast give them credit for making the attempt. They gave me a pretty good offer off the bat, and I'm sure I could have bartered (or maybe even pulled the mom wildcard) to drive up the bid. But, after a $3,000 investment in a new transmission, I think I'll keep my current ride for a while longer...

Tediosity

2004-05-22T04:23:44Z

I think I'm getting bored with the day to day tedium.

You know how it is. Wake up. Maybe eat. Sit around. Maybe go to work if you are so compelled to do so. Come home. Maybe eat again. Maybe go out with some people. Come home. Sleep.

It's boring.

The problem therein is that this is life. During school is the worst, as the monotonous daily schedule burns into your memory so severely that you don't even need a watch to know what time it is. Summer is simply marked by laziness, but it's the future that I'm worried about.

What happens when college is over and I have to work? The thought of having a steady job, a wife and 2.5 kids is actually one of my worst fears.

How do you put an end to the cycle of consistency?

FYI: If you feel the same way, don't read "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer or anything by Tolstoy. You'll find yourself seeking rash alternative solutions... trust me.

Ennui of the One-Nine

2004-05-21T19:21:08Z

After a quick jump over to Charleston, I'm finally back in the beloved state of Florida.

I got a call saying that my car is finished and I can pick it up whenever. Despite the three-thousand clams lost into oblivion, I suppose the whole thing is good in the long run. I have a brand spankin' new transmission complete with a new warranty to boot. Hell, they were even so kind as to throw in a free oil change... How kind of them.

FYI - My birthday was this past Tuesday for all those who may have forgotten to send me gifts, money, sexual favors, cards, or atleast a simple "hey".

I finally reached the big one-nine, that amazing turning point in everyone's life. It went over pretty well, I guess. Nothing really exciting happened. I bought a kickass skate board and roamed the streets of my fave city of the south (Chucktown - aka Charleston for all the lamers...that's right. You are a lamer. I don't know what a lamer is, but you're one of them now. That is, unless you knew it was called Chucktown too. Honestly, I don't care.). Other than the board, the trip was pretty much uneventful. I just hung out, met up with some old school kids, and... oh yeah!... had a huge ordeal about getting an official transcript to College of Charleston, but that's a long ass story. For an overview: after three phone calls, two faxes, $25 overnight FedEx, and one walk to CofC admissions, everything was pretty much handled.

I guess its just another two years of waiting before the next big break in my life: My senior year of college of course! Ha. Werd.

Ok ok. I'll be honest this once... Being 21 will have its own set of perks.